Chose Life!

Its a wet Monday!! and my feelings are just like the weather, dark and moody. I’ve reached office half asleep, feeling drained and my wonderful colleague got on my nerves by saying I ate (my breakfast) like a cannibal! Yeah, was pissed off right. I gave a cold hard stare and ignored him.. *growl…*

The rest of the day wasnt any better either; frequent calls to the production floor sapped wat was left of my energy. I couldnt finish my work due to frequent interruptions. *double growl..*

My best fren’s b’day was yesterday and I didnt even have the time to drop off her pressie! What is wif all my mountain of work??!! *triple growl!!*

I guess this is really due to my weekend sickness. I miss the weekend.. Sniff sniff. I miss my spare time (not that I have many of it..). I miss someone =(

That someone happens to be very cute.. a little blur at times but still cute. He’s a great person to be around with, jovial and friendly with everyone. Helpful too. But alas! He’s so far away, i cant see him. Sometimes it feels like he’s nearby, breathing next to me, haunting my thoughts. I miss the times when we go out for a drive into the sunset, a silent walk along the street, a twilight drink in a dark dingy pub, an entertaining theater nite together. He’s so very far away…

"Pathetic little tramp! Get your life together!" This is pounding in my head but I cant really pick myself up yet. I hate this feeling of desolation and helplessness. Help! Need some entertainment here, thank you!

I’ve just attended a housemate’s wedding. It was a beautiful affair, handsome groom, stunning bride, beaming relatives and drunk friends.. Heheh, yup, most of us toasted so much, we were as red as beetroots. As for me, I maintained my soberness by drinking the oh-so-dangerous Coke (que : laughter). I envied (it’s an ugly word) my friend, she looks so happy with her husband. They dated for almost ten years before settling down. They are such a beautiful couple.

I used to have a dream like that; when I could wed my childhood sweetheart; also their mutual friend. I had thought life was as simple as that, u meet someone who loves u and whom u love, date a couple of years and then settle down. I guess I had a misconseption. All successful relationships require hard work. Probably I didnt work hard enough for my relationship or probably he wasnt serious enough with me. But we did spend 6 wonderful years together, caring and building each other up.

Now, it is all a memory… Replaced by the excitement of dating new people, some acquantainces, some old friends. But I was very guarded with my heart. I would not and could not give it to just anyone. I was so preoccupied with protecting myself that I realised (too late) that I had missed a few boats. Hehehe, you could say it’s plain old blur me. But the most recent one I had missed came as a surprise for me. I only realised I that I was being persued only when he had stopped all advances. You see, he is a good friend. Who would have thought about anything romantic between us? He taught me lots, told me the mysteries of life (okay, sounding pitiful here). Perhaps he thinks I’m too wrapped up with myself, my agonies. I might be too tough a nut to crack. How do you know if a guy is after you?? I’m such a blur case that I couldnt even differentiate a cow and an elephant! I’d only wished he had made his intentions clearer.