Chose Life!

Sigh.. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a timebomb ticking, waiting to explode. I have all these things going around in my head that I’m amazed my brain doesnt spill out from my ears.

Am I running away from reality? I donno.. Doshite nigete? Sometimes I just want to throw caution to the wind and act like I dont care. But I think I will hurt lots of people.. Good people. Jitsu wa, watashiwa hito o choto suki desu. Demo, ano hito wa watashi no kimochi ga zenzen wakarimasen. Taihen desune? Suki demo, hanashimasen.. Hahah.. That’s what being a nun for a year and a half’s gonna get you to. U begin to see illusions of a happy ending.

I see that happy ending, I just dont know how I could get there. I’m just frustrated that my God is keeping silent in this area of my seikai. I should not be impatient I know, all is under control under Him. All I could do is voice it out to Him and this blog here.

In the meantime, am I allowed to fish? Big or small, ugly or pretty, what ever catch I land, would the poor fishies get hurt?

Yesterday was a great workout at gym.. I thought I had ran 5km but in actual fact, 2.25miles does not make 5km.. I confused it with the pounds to kg conversion. Instead of 5 km, its only 3.6km. Sigh.. I thought I could run the PJ half marathon of 10km.. Hahah, after my 3.6km, I was flat like a tyre! Hehehe. My colleague went for the 10km run last sunday and finished 66th place! She’s good. Another colleague went for the 21km and finished 100 something, which is also very good. Man, r they fit. I cant even last 5km.. Sheesh, need to perk up. Gym ga ikimashyo!

After the gym session, we went a night market with another colleague. Poor chap waited for us gals to finish gym n didnt eat dinner till 9.30pm. Anyway, watever we gymmed was wasted coz we ate so many things at the night market! Hehe, at least we can eat without feeling guilty.

Sighh… the post title speaks volumes.. Tsugou ga warui kara, mai shu ni kai ga tsuzukemasu. Demo taihen karada ga warui kedo. Kon shu no shiken wa totemo warukatta desu ga, mai nichi ga issyokenmei benkyosou to omotte imasu.

Ima chotto osobanai demo, sa rai getsu ga yukkuri yasumi ni ikou to omotte imasu. Gambatte!!

Watashi no neko ga ima isu no shita ni nette imasu. Taihen kawaii desu ga. Onamae wa Tiger desu. Chotto warui neko desuga, mai nichi chi chi wa shikatte imasu.

Kate is right.. Which is why I’m getting on. Woah, didnt u guys like hear me say this dozens of times? Well, I hope this is the final time I’m gonna say it.. well, tat’s after I return wat was not rightfully mine.. Hehehe *evil laugh*. Hmm.. Donno if I’m really better now coz I cant even remember when it happened (its tis month I know, but when?) or how long it has been? Amnesia prob.

I need to thank you all for stayin there 4 me when I got wacky and wild. I wanna thank my parents and brother.. I wanna thank my work mates (*ahem* sounds like the grammy awards.. hehe) U have all been very supportive, especially my best fren. I know we get on each other’s nerves once in a while, but we r still best buds.

I just came home from Sg travelling leisurely on the LDP at 80kmh.. I can sense my fren’s jaws dropping. Not like me, really. But I think I’ve had enough of the mad dash for now. I even drove slowly to Sg straight after work which I normally dont. I would usually leave the house at 6.10pm and arriving a little before 7. But today, I choose 2 go after work. Surprisingly traffic was smooth and easy going (on a Fri nite). I had an hour to spare which I obediently did my revisions..

Mou sugu watashino nihongono kurasu ga owarimasu. Demo Sg no I3 wa tsuzukanai. KL Puraza e ikitai desu ga, chotto yasukutte, tsugou ga ii desu.

Ok, I’m outta my head 4 a mo there. Back to mad dashing… I’ve taken up a fetish for gym again coz I tink I’ve put on some wt. Plus, tey say its better 4 me 2 exercise 2 build up my bone mass. Otherwise, when i hit 30, my bones get drained of Ca so fast b4 I can do anythin.

My mad dashin on the threadmill got my sneakers spoilt.. Sheeshh. My favourite pair too. It’s been with me for years.. Provided comfort for my sore feet in 8 countries. *Sniff* I’m gonna miss u shoe. C the pic of my shoe when i throd the ground of the 2nd last country I’ve visited..

Ok ok… my frens say I didnt update my blog.. So, just to satisfy ‘em, here’s my latest post… Hehehe..

Its been a hectic month with me running up and down btwn home & Subang… Tat’s like 34km one way.. yeah, I’ve actually calculated the distance.. My exams; next fri!! Sob sob.. I hadnt even enough time to study yet. Must buckle down n start my mugging. It’s kinda good to have something to be hectic about. Takes my mind off this humdrum i call my life.

Ok, y am I so crappy? Well, it’s gotta be the anniversary looming up.. It’s gonna be exactly 2 or issit 3 years since my heart was left out in the cold.. Hmmm, well maybe i still carry ard the hurt for the heck of it.. Hahaha.. Possibly coz I’ve never been so crushed before. Well, everythings’ gotta have a first. And yup, tat was a 1st for me. I grew up considerably too after that. My aim now is to forgive and forget.. So, coming end of the month, I will forgive.. and err, give back whatever I took.. *evil laugh*.

God is punishing me for keeping what I should not have.. So, I guess its time to return it to the rightful owner. In doing so, I would also earn God’s approval and put the awful experience down. Haha, funny how I forgot how long it has been. Have I really grown so bitter? No wonder nothing seems right these days. Hmmmm…